Banjoman's Family Photos Hi there...this is me... Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I have a stomach ulcer. I play banjo! This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day. This is my brother Roger. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. Cathy lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Cathy has sores all over. The flies are terrible.   My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing. My younger sister Jeannie lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a cake and my cousin Kevin turned it on by accident.   We are proud of my older brother Larry. He is 62. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name. This is my older sister Peggy. She has 15 kids and they all look different. She has a disease that makes her itch. Kevin is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath. This is Bob. He is my oldest brother. He is pretty smart. Bob is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth. This is my sister's husband. His name is Steve. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy ass. This is Snake. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear. These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. Cole and Laura.. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw banjos no more. Donnie holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Donnie crashed alot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmit.   My brother-in-law Carl is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Veitnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store. This is my nephew Chris. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese. This is my twin brother Bert. We were born 4 minutes apart. Bert made medical history when he fell out of my mom's ass during birth.  I hate him. This is Christina. She is lots of fun. She chews tobacco and rides a bicycle. Christina dates younger men with teeth. One of my mom's boyfriends. He has a rectal infection that makes him fart alot. I think he caused our dog Gizmo to die. This is my sister-in-law Lynn. Mom said she just showed up at our trailer home one day and never left. She bit the mailman. She loves to drink water from the toilet bowl.  She smokes cigarettes too.  My nephew Jarad went to New York this summer. A piece of the Statue Of Liberty fell off and hit him in the head. Jarad now has the I.Q. of a tomato plant. We found Willy sleeping under our trailer one night. Mom is teaching him how to use toilet paper. This is my half brother Boomer. Boomer is going to be a policeman one day. He already patrols the interstate and stops the bad people. Walt dates my grandma. He grows pumpkins on 7 acres of land. He likes chasing grandma through his pumpkin patch in his underwear. This is my 3rd cousin Smitty. Smitty works in a dog collar factory in the city. He works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Every electric dog collar is tested on Smitty before they are shipped to the store. This is my sister's ex-boyfriend Jimmy. He is running for Mayor in the city. He hates kids and old people. Our neighbor Mrs. Dot is taking him to court for spitting on her baby. He also wants to ban wheelchairs in the city.